Running Drills December 7, 2008

Yesterday was a mess.  Car shopping in the morning, dinner with my brother’s family at Old Country Buffet.
And then, in the evening, it was running drills.
My sister has a gallery opening today near Northampton MA, a good two hour ride, and more with bathroom breaks.  My mother had asked some old friends who live in [...]

Negotiation November 19, 2008

My father knows how frustrated I have been being locked down and waiting for my mother today.
It was supposed to be a freer day with nothing on the schedule, but I ended up having to pee her at 4:30 AM, and then wait from 8 AM until at least 2 PM (that’s not happened yet) [...]

D’affirm November 11, 2008

My mother has this thing where she gets upset because she hasn’t made much difference, hasn’t had many successes in her life.
Often it is being upset because she hasn’t been a good mother.
That’s challenging for me.  I do want her to focus on what she has done well, what she can do now, but on [...]

Nice November 7, 2008

“Two girls said I was nice,” my mother told her friend on the phone.
“I have learned to ignore it,” she continued.  “People always say odd things to old ladies.”
Yeah.
But the two gals said nice or sweet as I wheeled her out of the women’s room at the odd lot store.
It was my sense that they [...]

Connects October 21, 2008

It all, well, it all links
My sister was in a car accident on Saturday, and yesterday they declared her car — my parents old car — a total loss.
She called to talk about this while I had to get my mother up to PT, always a chore.
So today, I had to get my mother up [...]

Worn September 29, 2008

I’m not sure that my parents or my sister have noticed that I have been wearing the same clothes since my father’s hospital event in August, the “bad bad day” that marked the cancelation of their trip.  Even the rip up the back of the left leg of my $3 worn out Wal-Mart cargo jeans [...]

Feel It September 17, 2008

As a caregiver, you have to care for people, taking care of their needs and maybe their wants.
But you also have to make them feel cared for.   It’s not just the actions, it’s the kind word or the joke that make things different.  I often get crazy when I just want to roll my mother [...]

Sunday September 15, 2008

My sister was here last night, and I put in the little FM MP3 Player that I got for her, with a card I loaded up with songs.
She said she was off today and she would touch base.
She didn’t.
I know that I’m not easy, but then again, neither is what I do here, or who [...]

Saturday Night September 14, 2008

It’s Saturday night.
My father is in the basement, site of his office that contains my bed, watching political coverage.
My mother is in the living room.  She was sleeping and I was watching the Lifetime movie on Coco Chanel, but she woke and without speaking to me changed the channel.
I could go to her room upstairs, [...]

Outsider September 7, 2008

My sister says that my brother feels like an “outsider” and wants to have a meeting tomorrow or the next night to discuss my parents.
I know he is newly laid off, but I also know how those meetings go; people make decisions about the way things should be and then staff out the implementation.
And I’m [...]